morgan has a baby sister

well she has finally arrived... baby kayleigh arrived safe and sound on the 6th of august weighing a healthy 7lbs. she is adorable and has everyone at her beck and call!! its hard to believe we have our little baby home for good this time... friday was also morgans first anniversary which was a day to remember her but also to cherish our new little bundle of joy! im sure she is watching over us all now xx

ive posted a pic of baby kayleigh but will update soon when i have some free time (if ever!!)

thanks again to everyone who is following this blog and have gave us love and support during this tough year, at last i have my rainbow baby xx

28 weeks almost!!!

hiya!! ok so were now nearly 28 weeks, cant believe how quick the time is going.... we got our 3d scan pics as you can see, everyone thinks baby is daddys double... hopefully she'll grow out of it!!! all went well had another hospital appointment with another scan too and everything is as it should be!! baby was 1lb and 13oz at 26 weeks so be getting bigger and stronger all the time... especially if the kicks are anything to go by!!!!

anyway trying to keep positive and focus on baby g's arrival, we also have morgans birthday coming up so im having a think about how to celebrate that day.. wont do anything too big but be nice to mark it somehow.. my brother bought me a lovely little cheeky angel ornament a few christmases ago i think the make is Nao? so maybe ill start collecting one each year for morgans birthday..

well speak to you all again soon

laura xxxxxxx

something to keep me smiling

well, despite planning on keeping regular updates, time is flying and i seem to never have the time to sit and spend time here!! all is going well with our little bundle of joy... have had another 2 scans now, last week was the anomoly scan which went perfect. baby is growing at a great rate, the little heart and brain and all the limbs are just as they should be!!! we were delighted to have got the scan done, altho many scans before said all was well this was the biggie!!! we found out the sex too.... keeping it to ourselves tho just in case, altho we did go out and buy a wee outfit at the weekend just to celebrate!!!

im glad to have found out the sex, i wasnt too keen to find out, would have liked the surprise but derek was dying to find out!! now i know im glad i did, somehow it makes the baby more of thier own little person and i feel closer to bump now!! weird but seems true!! we can also fret about names now too... i luv lots but when i over think them i put myself off!! anyway main news is that baby is good and healthy and really starting to kick now, again this is completely different to the movement i had with morgan which makes me sad as i realise now there was so many signs little morgan wasnt well but i just didnt know.... morgan did move but the little flutters you get at about18-20 weeks was all she managed.. still im glad we knew no different as i still enjoyed and cherish every one of those tiny movements, each one a miracle in itself...

i was in session with a little boy last week, he knew about morgan and we tried to explain best we could but this is the conversation we had when he seem me after 6 weeks and noticed my bump had returned;

"are you baking another little baby in your tummy" (as he placed his hand on my tummy)

i replied i was and he cupped his hand around my belly and whispered

"hello little baby, i cant wait to meet you, make sure you stick around this time"

i smiled at him and he asked would he be able to meet this babby as "morgan went to heaven" before he met her, i replied i hoped so. he then took my hand and said

"you know what, i bet morgan left that little baby in there, to keep you company and give you someone to love"

sometimes kids are the sweetest, the innocence and simple way they look at life is something i wish we didnt loose as we get older!!!

finally id like to say hi to other ladies following my blog, i know a few of us are on this scary journey to holding out rainbow babies and im glad we have each other to share with. xxx

little flutters

well, i suppose im overdue an update!! i am now just past 16 weeks pregnant and so far all is going well. we had another scan and hospital appointment 2 weeks ago and the heartbeat wes good, the ultrasound showed baby measured perfectly, they measured the little legs and arms, even the tummy and checked the brain for any cysts and altho they cant give you promises they assured us they are very happy with the little ones progress..

after the scan my official due date is 14th august 2009, exactly one year after little morgan became my angel.. i hope that this will make that time of the year a little easier but also i wonder will it also bring a sadness to my new babies birthday every year as i will always be thinking of both! anyway i like to think its a sign that morgan had a hand in giving this little baby to us.

this pregnancy has been so different to morgans, i have had lots more symptoms and already my bump is almost as large as i was the week i had morgan, looking back i had very little bump and hardly any symptoms with morgan. so regardless of piling on the weight, constant pins and needles, toothache, aches and pains and all sorts of discomfort i will struggle thru and enjoy and hopefully it will be worth it when i get my little rainbow baby!!!

i have eventually bought a pregnancy journal, with morgan i had one right away and was passionate about filling it in and keeping everything but this time i was terrified of starting something i might not get to finish. its soooo hard, im scared to do anything presumptious with this baby, look at prams, think about names, decorate the nursery or keep a journal but at the same time i think poor little baby g is a new baby and i have to focus on that and try to remain positive.. morgans short time at home was made all the more special because we had bought all her stuff and recieved so many gifts,so altho it was hard after her death to look at and put those things away i never regret being so hopeful and presumptious during that pregnancy...

we have an appointment with the consultant who delivered morgan next week and hopefully ill get an idea of our plan from now on and then on 6th april i have the detailed scan where we will find out the sex of the baby and hopefully get the final piece of mind.. welll as much piece of mind as possible!!

thanks to you all who read and follow morgans site and im glad that not only friends and family, but others who have little angels looking down can share this journey with us...

Laura and the ever increasing bump xxxx

A little bit of hope

So we have now had our first set of test results and all is well. we had a scan at 10 weeks and baby was strong, heart was beating and baby measured correct for dates. on tuesday we had the nuchal translucency scan and first trimester blood test, basically this set of tests looks for indications of chromosome abnormalities and they cannot give a diagnosis but an indication of the possiblility of any problems. baby measured perfect size, actually a little but bigger than expected but nothing to worry about and the nuchal scan was normal as were my blood results. these pics are of baby number 2 aT 12 weeks and 6 days!!!!

we were given the figure of a 1 in 31,003 chance of baby having a trisomy so we have decided as agreed with the doctor that no further diagnostic tests will be done (CVS or amnio) although we will continue to have further scans and keep an eye on babys growth as this was missed with morgan.so for now all is good, i can begin to share the news, although sometimes it seems too scary to begin celebrating, i dont think ill relax until i actually have this baby home and really get to keep her/him this time. its a tough time, so many emotions, sometimes i feel excited and find myself looking forward and making plans for this baby and then i feel guilty and sad that i should be planning morgans christening and child minders!! this baby will never replace my morgan and im blessed to have my pictures and stories of morgan to share with her brother or sister.

i hope anyone reading this who has a little angel baby can get comfort and understanding of my journey towards my rainbow baby, it will be a journey of bumps and obstacles, but the thought of having our little bundle of joy to share with everyone keeps us going everyday.

A baby brother or sister for Morgan

So now we're beginging a whole new journey and i hope Morgan wont mind me using her page to share our good news!!! We had our first scan today and all seems well, baby is 10 weeks and 4 days so due to arrive 15th August 2009! We have another scan and some tests in 2 weeks time to check babys progress then, so keep your fingers and toes crossed for us.

I thought long and hard about posting about the new baby on this site as it was designed to be in memory of morgan and somewhere for us to all remember her. However the aim was also to offer support and information to other families so hopefully any families reading this will get some strength and hope from our new and exciting (altho very scary) journey.

Keep us in your thoughts xxx

Dads........

Some friends sent me these lovely poems which are about dads and their angels, i think morgan, like me, is blessed with the very best dad in the world.

Don't cry for me daddy, For I am right here.

Although you can't see me, I can see your tears.

I visit you often. and Go to work with you each day,

and when it's time to close your eyes, on your pillow is where I lay.

I hold your hand and stroke your hair and whisper in your ear.

If you're sad today daddy, remember I am here.

God took me home now, this we know is true.

But you will always be my daddy, even though I am not with you.

I will always be daddy's little Angel, we will never be apart.

For every time you think of me, please know I am always in your heart.

Father's Grief

It must be very difficult

To be a man in grief,

Since "men don't cry" and "men are strong"

No tears can bring relief.

It must be very difficult

To stand up to the test,

And field the calls and visitors

So she can get some rest.

They always ask if she's all right

And what she's going through.

But seldom take his hand and ask,

"My friend, but how are you?"

He hears her crying in the night

And thinks his heart will break.

He dries her tears and comforts her,

But "stays strong" for her sake.

It must be very difficult

To start each day anew.

And try to be so very brave-

He lost his baby too